It has been said that “A house divided cannot stand”. This has shown to be so true time and time again.
This points to the very first important building block in a relationship. That is, the importance of a couple in becoming “as one”. The definition of “one”, as it is used here, is important to understand. It means to be in agreement, unified, united, whole and entwined. I liken it to two pieces of paper that have been glued together. Initially, two distinctly separate pieces of paper that now exist in combination. They now represent one piece, yet still two pieces of paper that have been bonded together. This is why divorce is so painful (with rare exceptions, such as in an abusive relationship where divorce may actually be a relief). It is like trying to pull the two pieces of paper back apart. You never will without damage. And, those two pieces of paper are never quite the same separate pieces that they once were before the process.
In a marriage, those that are engaged, or otherwise in a serious relationship, two people become interwoven emotionally, physically and spiritually. This is a mysteriously fascinating event that takes place. And, it is the glue that binds them together.
Relationships. I believe the greatest way to illustrate what this “being as one” looks like, and yet how two people can still exist separate and individually, is by way of a visual example. For me, relationships are very much like….. a couples slow dance.….
Dance Of Life
No interruptions or distractions. No texting, googling or posting. No face booking, skyping, tweeting or snapchatting. No pretense. No showing off, or need to impress with the latest new “fat” move or dance step before a crowd. Just two people, the music and the moment. Nothing else matters.
For some, this may be too uncomfortable. Too intimate. Too close. Too vulnerable. Too real and too genuine. And yet, it can be the closest two people can get that has to do with the soul, and a soul connection. The embrace, a gentle touch, eyes fixed on only each other. Soft words expressing your feelings and thoughts. Or, no words at all. Just being there and not wanting to be anywhere else can say more than words. Of all the people to be with, you chose each other.
This is one reason we started our annual “A Night To Remember” dinner/dance events. With few existing opportunities, we wanted to create a romantic, special evening for couples to have a night where they could simply enjoy each other’s company. For some, a chance to re-connect, or re-ignite their passion. To get back to dating. Reminisce over fond memories they share. Create new memories to cherish. Make some quality time for each other. To have some wholesome fun in this hectic, stressed out world. And… to dance. If you have not come to one of our events, consider joining us at the next one.
The man traditionally leads, but it is through deference made by the woman, as only one person can lead at a time. And, as a respectful gesture she is willing to allow him to do so. It is a choice, not a written command. How to move? Which direction to move? When to move? This is relayed through an unspoken language. That sense of understanding. Feeling the same rhythm, hearing the same beat, responding through a natural, soul connection. The longer two people remain together in a relationship, the deeper that connection has the potential to become. As long as they don’t forget how to dance (figuratively speaking).
Men are naturally hardwired to want to be the protector, the provider, to lead, to be chivalrous. Studies point to the fact that women desire commitment, a sense of safety, acceptance and to be loved. All the attempted social re-engineering won’t change what is by natural design. Disagree if you like. Doesn’t change the fact. This is some of our issues today. Couples struggling with conflicting guidance and social pressures. Stumbling blocks and confused feelings over whether they are selling out to tradition over progressive thought. What does it mean to be a man, a woman, a gentleman, a lady. To be in a marriage. And what roles, if any, do we fulfill.
A simple dance. Two people moving as one. It represents in the most basic form how relationships instinctively work. Not very complicated. Enjoyable to do. Special when it is with that special someone.
Over the next few blogs we will break things down in simple terms that hopefully will offer clarity regarding “becoming as one”, and more. The goal for all of us is to be able to have a healthy, balanced, uncomplicated relationship. And it’s all doable!
Until then, we wish you LOVE, JOY & PEACE!